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23 February 2011 @ 02:36 pm
Life in Oklahoma 1.Something  

Omg it's been such a long time since I posted. FML. Life has been crazy.

So after T, life had to go on, and it did. I went to work, and planned for my ex-girlfriend's visit. Now, I have been in love twice, one guy and one girl. Let me tell you, love is dumb. What the hell was I thinking when I agreed to a visit in January? 4 days. Damn long time.

Ok, I love her still. We didn't break up because we weren't in love, I broke up with her after we graduated college and we were living in two different states, and everything that we had planned wasn't going to work anymore. I felt like we were causing each other more pain than the love we were getting out of the relationship. It was hard, but it is what it is.

So, we reminded semi-friends. Then we started texting quite a bit in October, and she asked if she moved down here, if we could work it out. I told her if she wants to move down here, then I would tell my Mum I dated a girl, and we would try and work it out...So in all honesty, I didn't think she would ever be ready to leave her family for me. Not ever, but apparently I was wrong. She shows up on a Thurs, and its good. Until she wants answers I'm not sure I know the question to.

THEN she gets snowed in...for almost a week...if we hadn't been going through the are we or aren't we thing, it would have been a fun visit. And lots of times during the visit we had fun, but it was strung with tension.

I don't think I'm ready for what she wants. She loves like she has no other purpose, and I don't. Sometimes its a bit overwhelming...like how can I ever measure up to that. How can I ever complete another person if I don't breathe for them?

Oh well, it is what it is, and time will tell. Moving on from my emotional dilemma, I got a new tattoo!!!!

That's right! #2! It is beautiful! And I love it. Click here to see it. :)

It says Alea Iacta Est. The die is cast, a quote from Caesar. The reason I got this one is because I interpret it as something like there is no going back. This is it, this moment, this second, it is what it is, and you can't take it back.

In other news, I was watching Pirates of the Carribean 2 the other day and Bootstrap Bill said, "the die is cast." I squealed...


So that's my life lately. Work, slight awkwardness with the ex, a new tattoo, oh, and maybe a promotion at work! :) But its still being talked about by the Store Manager and the District Manager, so we'll see. :)

Current Location: Bedroom at Meems'
Current Music: Dirty Diana by Michael Jackson
Trace: gen→cute→sleepyeviltwin on February 23rd, 2011 08:45 pm (UTC)
Tattoo is awesome, hon, I love it! And I really hope that however things work out, that they work out for the best for YOU.

Write_in_Redwrite_in_red on February 23rd, 2011 08:56 pm (UTC)
omg. I love my tattoo! LoL. I have a habit of kicking my feet because I don't like to sit still, and when I catch a glimpse of my foot I just smile and stare at it...it's so pretty...lol. :)

I got the first tattoo for my dad, I felt like I needed it. But this one was all me. :) Love it. :)

Me too. OMG. Drama, I wasn't built for this... *sigh*

But thanks for the comment. :)
not a morning person...tattoo_kink on February 24th, 2011 08:28 am (UTC)


So, the ex is still the ex? Did you ever got the chance to talk to your family first before she showed up? *g* I can imagine that it was quite awkward at times.

She loves like she has no other purpose, and I don't. Sometimes its a bit overwhelming...like how can I ever measure up to that. How can I ever complete another person if I don't breathe for them?

That really got me. It's always important to be at least honest with yourself. If you're really not sure - okay ... but if you really fell for her you should may give it a try?! Yeah. It's easy to say from the outside and far, far away. *ggg*

*crosses all fingers for your promotion*


♥ ♥ ♥

Write_in_Redwrite_in_red on February 25th, 2011 05:36 am (UTC)
OMGosh isn't it wonderful? I totally love. :)

She is still my ex, but I don't know if I'm just scared or if I really just don't wanna be in love. The weird thing about it is I miss her if she isn't here, but when she's here I just crave my space. FML. It doesn't make any sense. Ugh.

Oh well, it will work itself out eventually.

and YES. I'm BACK!!!

mmmuuuaaahahahaha! You will never get rid of me now.